Grieving Grover: How to Mourn the Loss of a Dog
They say that a dog will bring you some of the best days of your life and one of the worst. Unfortunately, we can relate. With the human lifespan averaging around 81 years and the canine’s lifespan averaging a sixth as long, we know that the odds are very high that we will outlive the pets we love so much. And, when that happens, we can’t help but feel immense grief.
For some people, the grief is as intense as losing a family member (because let’s face it, you are losing a family member). But, when we lose a human, we’re given permission to grieve – we’re allowed to feel, to cry, to even take bereavement leave from work.
When a pet dies, not everyone is as sympathetic, shrugging their shoulders and saying things like, “It’s just a dog.” We, of course, beg to differ.
All of this makes grieving a dog not only a difficult process but one that can feel isolating too. We grieve the giver of unconditional love, we grieve the loss of something that lends us meaning and purpose, we grieve the loss of our routine, we grieve the loss of our companionship, and we feel guilty in the process, racking our brains and wondering if we did everything we could have (this is especially poignant where euthanasia is involved).
Grief is never easy, but there are ways to make it easier, including:
Having patience: Losing a dog one day and jumping out of bed to bask in the sunshine the next isn’t realistic. So, give yourself time, kindness, and patience. You can’t get over the loss of your pet; you can only get through it.
Find like-minded people: What makes grief worse? Being told you’re not allowed to have it. This is why finding an ally, a fellow animal lover, is important. Rather than confiding in those who might minimize your sadness, lean on the shoulders of those who get it. If necessary, even
consider joining a pet loss support group. They’re online or in person.
Journal: Even if you’re not a writer, jotting down your thoughts and feelings can not only help you soldier through your grief but it can also help you remember your pet. Was there something funny they did? Was there something that made them unique? Is there something you’ll miss the most? Make note!
Have a ceremony: While having a funeral for a pet isn’t really a thing, perhaps it should be. Funerals provide people with the chance to say goodbye – they act as a way to air out the sadness, let go, and gain closure.
Do something in their memory: Memorializing your pet, whether through a painting or a picture or a shelf where you put their collar and their ashes is a great way to keep a piece of them in your home. You may as well; they’re always in your heart, anyway.
Losing an animal is heartbreaking and something that most of us don’t ever get over. But we do move on, sometimes by opening our lives to other pets. And all the while we know that “Just a dog”? There is no such thing.
JJ Keeler lives in Colorado with a house full of pets. She owns three dogs, two cats, and a hamster she bought as a bribe to get her daughter to ride the school bus. She has a BA in English Literature from the University of Colorado and has worked as a professional writer for fifteen years. Her clothes are perpetually covered in pet hair.
