Things I Like To Try When My Owner Walks Me Outside Again
Dear Diary,
Have you noticed an unsettling trend lately? I know I have. Our owners aren’t taking us for as many walks as they were. Instead, they’re going out to sit on patios and drink coffee with their two-legged friends, they’re walking into grocery stores, they’re headed to salons to get their fur cut. Some are even leaving each morning…..and not returning for eight hours. Eight hours! That’s 56 hours to us.
We knew it would happen: the pandemic was fun while it lasted. At least for pets, I mean.
But just because our owners have other tasks to attend to (hmph!) that doesn’t mean they can’t walk us at all. In fact, there are helpful hints to get them up and out the door, nylon leash in hand.
Here are a few things I like to try:
Start early
I don’t wait for the sun to emerge completely. As soon as it begins to rise in the East, I get to work, licking my owner’s hand. They might pull away, but that’s okay: they have feet! And if that doesn’t work, I go for the dagger: the face.
Stare
Whenever I’m ready to go for a walk, I make sure my eyes follow my person’s every move. I remind myself that stalker equals walker.
Carry the leash over
Some dogs are already trained to bring their leash over to their owners, but – for those who aren’t – I recommend learning. Training myself to grab the leash seems like a superb way to impress a human. They’ll see me do something smart and they’ll want to walk me around the neighborhood, showing off their genius dog to everyone they meet.
Hopefully, dogdom will be back to 12 walks a day in no time, just like nature intended.
Talk to you later,
Charlie
JJ Keeler lives in Colorado with a house full of pets. She owns three dogs, two cats, and a hamster she bought as a bribe to get her daughter to ride the school bus. She has a BA in English Literature from the University of Colorado and has worked as a professional writer for fifteen years. Her clothes are perpetually covered in pet hair.
